Why Kindness, Mindfulness, and Positive Mindset Are More Powerful Than You Think
Last year, I attended a small gathering facilitated by my dear friend Jen Earls, a Ceremonial Dance Leader who cultivates deeper human connection in communities through meaningful interactions. She passed out a prompt card face down from Esther Perel’s card deck Where Should We Begin? to each person present. I wondered what juicy question would be on the other side, as we were instructed to read our prompt and then share our responses with the person next to us.
At first, I was a bit disappointed with the “basic-ness” of my question: “What is the kindest thing someone has done for you?” But then, as I started to reflect, my heart softened and I even teared up thinking about how many people have gone out of their way to be incredibly kind to me over the course of my life. How could I choose just one to share? Many of these people weren’t even people I knew well, but had made an impact in my life at critical moments where I needed uplifting or support.
Ever since reading that “basic” question that day, it’s remained in the forefront of my mind. Recalling those kind gestures made me feel so loved and valued as a member of humanity, and it’s now one of my favorite questions to ask others. So…What is the kindest thing someone has done for you? Yes, I’m asking YOU. I would truly love to know. I believe that sharing our kindness stories begets more kindness and increases our inner vibrance.
This is why I want to introduce you to Terri Hamilton, a passionate advocate for kindness, who has made it her life's work to show that even the smallest gesture can have profound ripple effects. From supporting local communities to spreading joy to strangers, she believes that kindness is not just a feel-good concept—it's a transformative force that can change the world.
Terri not only makes it her mission to invite folks to engage in acts of kindness, she also teaches mindfulness and positive mindset strategies as incredibly powerful tools for reducing stress and increasing focus and happiness throughout life. In our recent L3 Philosophy™ interview, Terri shared how you can use these tools to fuel your life, and why they are the secret ingredients for living a happier, more fulfilling existence.
You can watch or listen to our conversation here:
Start with One Breath: How to Manage Stress and Increase Happiness by Practicing Mindfulness
Have you ever been in the middle of doing something you enjoy, only to realize that you’re thinking about your to-do list, why you’re mad at your partner, or how you are going to pay for your kids’ college tuition? Talk about a total joy-kill when you could be experiencing a wave of happiness hormones instead. Let’s talk about how we can make the most of these opportunities for more pleasurable moments.
Mindfulness is a powerful yet simple practice of being fully present, using the breath as an anchor. "Breathing is the most important thing we do—we just don’t normally think about it," Terri shared, emphasizing that a single intentional breath can reset the mind and body. Mindfulness isn't just about awareness of our surroundings but also tuning into our bodies and senses to cultivate peace and presence.
Terri emphasized that mindfulness starts in solitude—practicing small moments of awareness, like taking deep breaths in the morning or being fully present while doing simple tasks like emptying the dishwasher. “The more we train our minds to do that in solitude, the easier it is to practice mindfulness when we are with another person,” she explains.
Having spoken to hundreds of women and men as a Breakup & Relationship coach, I’ve noticed that a lack of presence can lead to disconnection in relationships, both with ourselves and others. People often listen just to respond rather than to truly hear, which leads to both parties feeling unheard, unvalidated, and often misunderstood.
Terri offered a powerful mindset shift we can keep in mind during a conversation: instead of reacting to something a person says or does, pause and ask yourself, “I wonder why?” This small shift helps remove defensiveness, making space for thoughtful responses rather than impulsive reactions. One question Terri recommends a person ask themselves during a conflict is, “Do I want to be right, or do I want to be kind?”
Reflect and Practice: Set the timer on your phone or watch to go off every hour that you are awake. Each time it goes off, whether you’re by yourself or doing something else (even if you’re in a meeting), take one to three very deep breaths. Notice how you feel by the end of the week and reflect in your journal.
3 Ways to Incorporate Mindfulness into Your Daily Routine
Being mindful throughout your daily life may not be something that comes naturally and could even feel hard to do at first, which is why it is considered a practice. When Terri works with people, she introduces mindfulness in small, approachable ways—like offering that you take a single deep breath when walking through a doorway or sitting at a stoplight.
For those who struggle with breathwork, here are 3 alternative techniques to practice mindfulness:
Use a calming stone. A calming stone is a smooth object held between the thumb and forefinger that activates acupressure points to naturally signal the brain to relax. Terri commented on how discreet and effective it can be, saying, “I could be using a calming stone while we’re chatting, and no one even knows.”
Finger tapping. Finger tapping is where you touch each fingertip to your thumb, applying light pressure to activate calming points. “It’s a really simple way to practice mindfulness if you don’t want to breathe,” Terri said. And ultimately, anything you do to calm the body naturally leads to deeper breaths.
Habit stacking. This is a simple way to incorporate mindfulness into routines. “You always brush your teeth in the morning… so why not take a moment to notice what’s going on outside or take some breaths?” Terri shared. You can turn everyday tasks like folding warm laundry into mindfulness exercises, focusing on textures and warmth rather than rushing through them. This approach removes the common excuse of “I don’t have time,” since it doesn’t require extra effort—just a shift in attention.
These techniques bring focus to the present moment, whether through breath, touch, or awareness, reinforcing that mindfulness is simply paying attention to what’s happening right now. Terri added that small moments of mindfulness—just 10 minutes a day—can rewire the brain, according to research and her own experience after reading 10 Mindful Minutes by Goldie Hawn. By intentionally inserting “positive moments and mindful moments” throughout the day, we can shift perspective and create lasting change.
Reflect and Practice: What is one new mindfulness practice you can implement each day or week? Think about how you could incorporate this as a self-practice and also as a practice that involves others.
Positive Mindset vs Mindfulness: What’s the Difference?
While mindfulness is about present-moment awareness, maintaining a positive mindset requires intentionally shifting thoughts throughout the day. Being mindful of bringing your attention to the present moment can help you create that shift towards positivity.
I recall one specific moment where mindfulness helped me shift out of lingering frustration after an argument with my partner. I had left my house irritated and, while driving to the gym, caught myself replaying the disagreement in my mind. I suddenly realized, “Wait, that isn’t happening right now in this moment. In THIS moment, I’m by myself and it’s actually quite lovely and peaceful.” By focusing on the present—the sunny day, the fresh air, a song I loved—I was able to step out of the negativity and enjoy the day.
Mindfulness isn’t about forcing a positive mindset but rather about noticing what’s actually happening in the present, which often naturally brings a sense of peace. Terri shared her own practice of starting each morning with gratitude, saying, “It could be my warm, comfortable bed… or even my husband snoring next to me—I'm lucky he’s there.” This simple habit helps set a positive tone for the day. Another mindset trick is using words like “but” or “yet” to reframe challenges—“I have a sore back, but I’m still walking,” or “I haven’t mastered this yet, but I’m willing to keep trying.”
Finally, Terri highlights curiosity as a powerful tool for staying open to possibilities, emphasizing that approaching challenges with a sense of wonder can shift perspective and make positivity more natural and impactful. Rather than flipping a negative statement to something overly positive, it can be more effective to simply make it kinder. Terri added, “How can I say this in a way that is more kind?”
But kindness isn’t just for us to give to others; self-kindness will change your life. Terri shared, “It's really important that we talk kindly to ourselves. And those negative messages that we've gotten throughout our lives from other people are not true. They're stories, and we've taken them on as our own.”
Reflect and Practice: Consider one of my favorite quotes by Lao Tzu:
“If you’re feeling depressed, your thoughts are in the past. If you’re feeling anxious, your thoughts are in the future. If you’re feeling at peace, you’re in the present.”
Reflect on your own self-talk throughout the day. Does this quote ring true for you? Why or why not?
The Ripple Effect of Kindness: How One Act Can Make a Difference
Kindness is everywhere. But sometimes we fail to notice it, especially when we are going through challenging times or having a stressful day. Terri’s journey toward embracing kindness was a conscious choice that she made after realizing the profound impact of small gestures on both the giver and the receiver. “When you’re kind, you’re going to feel better,” Terri shared, explaining that kindness isn’t just about making others feel good—it’s also about boosting our own mental and emotional well-being.
She emphasized that acts of kindness, no matter how small, trigger a cascade of positive emotions that benefit both the giver and the recipient. Research backs this up, showing that acts of kindness can increase the production of endorphins, serotonin, and dopamine—those all-important "feel-good" chemicals in our brains.
The impact of kindness doesn't stop with one person. In fact, Terri explained that the kindness we offer others often sparks a chain reaction. “You don't know how far those ripples are going to go, but you can change a person's day. You can change a person's life,” she said. Whether it's a smile, holding the door open for a stranger, or offering a simple compliment, these actions can brighten someone’s day and inspire them to pay it forward.
Terri is deeply committed to fostering connection through kindness, and she’s seen firsthand the transformative power of group energy. She explained that as people come together with the shared intention of spreading kindness, the collective energy grows exponentially. “When you’re in groupthink, the momentum is incredible,” she shared. Through her community-based kindness mission, Terri has built a network of people who share this common goal, and it’s inspiring to see how a simple idea can snowball into something much bigger.
One of the key ways Terri and her community practice kindness is by coming together to support different causes. Through events like Socktober, they’ve collected thousands of pairs of socks for people in need. Terri shared, “We gathered almost 1200 pairs of socks… every time I opened that mailbox, I was so excited for the socks.” The kindness and enthusiasm of the group made the project a huge success, and the ripple effects were felt not just by those who donated but also by the organizations that received the socks.
Terri's community has also grown beyond just in-person gatherings. Her Facebook group, “I Believe in Kindness,” connects people from all over who are passionate about making the world a better place through simple acts of kindness. The online space allows people to share uplifting stories, spread positivity, and brainstorm new ways to contribute to causes that matter. Terri’s ultimate goal is to create a space where people feel energized by kindness and are inspired to live with intention.
Reflect and Practice: This week, pay attention to ANY kind thing someone says or does for you or that you witness for someone else. Pay attention to anything YOU do that is kind, even if it’s loving thoughts toward yourself. How does bringing your focus to kindness amplify it and shift your vibe?
How to Start Practicing Kindness Today
As Terri’s insights show us, kindness doesn’t have to be a grand gesture. So how can you start practicing kindness today?
Smile more: You don’t know the impact a smile can have on someone’s day. Try smiling at a stranger or a friend—you may be surprised at how contagious it is.
Give a compliment: Instead of keeping it to yourself, share something kind with someone else. Tell them you like their jacket, their energy, or their work.
Donate to a cause: Whether it's socks, food, or self-care products, find a way to give back to your community or those in need.
Be present: Sometimes the most meaningful act of kindness is simply being there for someone, listening to them without judgment, and offering a kind word.
Practice self-kindness: Don't forget to be kind to yourself. Practice self-compassion by acknowledging your strengths and embracing your flaws with love.
We all have the power to create positive change, both in our own lives and in the lives of others. Whether it’s through big projects or small gestures, kindness has the ability to transform not just our world, but also our hearts.
So today, let’s commit to being kind—to others and to ourselves—and see how it can make a difference in our lives and in the lives of those around us.
If you enjoyed this article and want to expand on the reflection exercises in it, You might like these guided journals!
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