What Yoga Teachers Wish You Knew About Self-Love
Discover Why Yoga ISN’T Just About Flexibility
A favorite workout shirt of mine (that I wear too often) says “Shake your Asana”. It makes me chuckle because it combines my love for booty-shaking to a great song with yoga, a practice I have come to highly value over the past decade. I mention yoga often to my clients as a Breakup & Relationship coach and on my podcast about how to love yourself, love your relationships, and love your life. Here’s why: Yoga can be a powerful tool to restore the connection with yourself and care for your body through both movement and soothing the nervous system.
We’ve all probably heard of “downward facing dog” and “warrior two”, but yoga is much more than a physical practice. The core principles of yoga can be integrated into your everyday life for mental and spiritual ascension, especially during emotionally challenging times in your life. In this week’s episode of L3 Philosophy™, I invited my yoga teacher Deanna Wheeler on as a guest to help us understand how these principles can be applied to our lives, helping us live with more self-compassion and compassion for others as we navigate the ups and downs of life.
Watch or listen to our episode here:
Yoga offers us an invitation to slow down, connect deeply with ourselves, and, through that, build stronger relationships with the people around us. But yoga isn’t just about the physical postures or the quiet moments of meditation—it’s about creating space for all of our human experiences to be witnessed and embraced.
Yoga as a Tool for Loving Yourself
When we consider how to best “L3”, the first L in my L3 Philosophy™, love yourself, is the most important because it ripples out to impact the other two. Yoga can be a powerful tool for practicing self-love. It’s easy to think of self-love as a theoretical concept, something we should aspire to but might struggle to manifest in our daily lives. However, yoga provides a tangible, physical way to nurture ourselves—through each breath, each movement, and each moment of stillness.
Deanna highlighted an important point when she said, “We are never going to be the same person day to day, minute to minute. We're constantly changing.” This reality is something that many of us resist, especially when it comes to aging or the inevitable changes in our bodies. Yet yoga invites us to embrace this change rather than fear it. When we step onto the mat, we’re reminded that each practice is different - and that’s okay. Some days, we might be able to stretch deeper or hold a pose longer, but other days, we might feel tight, sore, or distracted. The key is not to judge ourselves based on these fluctuations but to accept them with compassion.
The idea that we’re constantly evolving is something that can be difficult to accept. But when we learn to practice yoga as a form of self-acceptance, we can begin to extend that same compassion and understanding to our thoughts, our emotions, and our relationships. This is one of the reasons yoga is so transformative: it encourages us to be present with ourselves as we are right now, without the pressure to be anything else. It teaches us that “it’s okay to not be perfect,” which Deanna says is a powerful message when it comes to healing and self-love.
Reflect and Practice: In what areas might you judge or speak to yourself harshly from day to day? This week, reflect on how you might implement a practice, such as yoga or something else you feel drawn to, to help you love and accept yourself more fully. Acknowledge the progress you’ve made so far in your life as you take some moments to slow down.
The Role of Community in Yoga and in Life
Yoga, at its core, is a communal experience. When we come together in a class or a practice, we share a space where we can support one another—whether through breath, movement, or simply being present. This collective energy can make us feel less isolated and more connected to the world around us. As Deanna put it, “We all might look different, but there are real basic things that most can relate to. Whether you’re holding a challenging pose or breathing through a tough moment, being surrounded by others in the same experience reminds you that you’re not alone.”
The ancient practice of yoga refers to being in community as Sangha. The sense of belonging that comes from being part of a yoga community can create a foundation of support during difficult times. When practicing with a familiar group week after week, the shared experience of working through challenges together can strengthen bonds. As Deanna mentioned, “When you have a shared experience with someone, especially if it’s a challenging one, that typically tightens the bond.” Whether it’s holding a pose longer than expected or staying with your breath during a tough moment, these shared struggles create opportunities for deeper connections. And that’s one of the things that makes yoga so special—it’s not about competing with one another; it’s about showing up, supporting each other, and growing together.
The power of connection through shared experiences and challenges reminds me of the two years I ran a breakup & relationship support and connection group. Each week, members joined our meeting and shared what they were going through and how they felt. Others would show empathy and share advice when asked. Numerous people from that group thanked me from time to time, stating that simply being in a group where others were going through similar things made them feel less alone and more understood. Hearing other people’s stories made them feel validated and more connected. If you need help with heartbreak or a relationship, I invite you to schedule a complimentary Relationship Assessment Call here to see if I can help you.
Reflect and Practice: Was there ever a time where you felt supported or demonstrated support for another within a community that truly made an impact? Reflect on whether you want or need more of this in your life and what communities would feel most aligned for you to get involved.
Yoga and the Balance Between Solitude and Connection
There’s a time and a place for community and also a balance between solitude and connection. While yoga is often practiced in a group setting, Deanna emphasized the importance of taking time for personal reflection and solitude to reflect, to recharge, and to tap into our own creativity. Please keep in mind that spending time alone is different from being isolated. Quiet moments of solitude are often when we can connect most deeply with our inner selves, and this is something that’s equally important on the journey of self-love and personal growth.
Deanna shared how she taps into her own solitude and creativity through making mala beads, a traditional tool used for meditation. “It’s something that was somewhat repetitive that I could grow the skill in,” she explained. Creating these beads is not just a craft for her; it’s a way to bring her back to mindfulness. “It’s not mindless, like, you know, watching TV. Watching TV is great, but there’s so much to be gained when we can do activities that are quiet that allow us to come up with new ideas to become innovative.” For Deanna, making mala beads is a meditative process that not only serves as a creative outlet but also helps her deepen her own practice and connect to new ideas she can share in class.
This example speaks to the importance of having those pockets of time in our busy lives where we can slow down, get out of autopilot mode, and truly be with ourselves. Whether it’s through yoga, creative expression, or just taking a walk in nature, these moments are when our minds can relax, and we can open ourselves to new possibilities and deeper insights.
Reflect and Practice: If you were to assess how many minutes or hours per week you prioritize for solitude where you can just BE without having to DO, what number do you come up with? This week, try allocating more time and space for meaningful self-connection time and keep a journal of how you feel after the practice and throughout the week.
Yoga and the L3 Philosophy™: Loving Yourself, Loving Your Relationships, and Loving Your Life
The core principles of yoga align perfectly with the L3 Philosophy™—Love Yourself, Love Your Relationships, Love Your Life. Yoga teaches us that in order to show up fully for others, we must first learn to show up fully for ourselves. Self-love isn’t just about practicing self-care in a bubble; it’s about cultivating a deep sense of worth and acceptance that ripples out into our relationships and our approach to life.
I recently heard someone say that love isn’t relationships as a thing, it’s about how we relate. I thought this was powerful because sometimes we can attach to a person or relationship, which can be unhealthy and create unrealistic expectations. However, when we think about love as a way of relating, it gives us much more ownership over our role in relationship dynamics and that the love begins in ourselves and how we amplify it to others.
Deanna shared her perspective on the relationship between yoga and life’s inevitable changes, saying, “Rather than seeing conflict with someone as this awful, horrible thing that needs to be avoided, try to have a meaningful connection to it. Have a conversation and see if you can work through your differences and be okay with this change.” Yoga, in essence, teaches us that change is a constant. Just like the ebb and flow of our breath or the shift in our energy from day to day, life will present us with challenges, growth, and transformation. The key is not to fear it but to lean into it with openness and curiosity, trusting that we have the tools to navigate it.
In relationships, this mindset can help us shift from seeing conflict as a threat to embracing it as an opportunity for growth. The people who might have the biggest impact on our lives are the ones we come into conflict with. This is especially true when it comes to our closest relationships, whether with family, friends, or romantic partners. Through open communication and a willingness to work through difficulties, we can use these challenges as stepping stones to deeper understanding and connection.
Final Takeaways:
Self-Acceptance Through Yoga: Yoga encourages us to embrace the constant changes in our lives—both physical and emotional. It teaches us that we don’t need to be perfect to practice self-love; we simply need to show up as we are and honor where we are in the present moment.
Community and Connection: “We need connection and relationships and community to thrive,” Deanna shared. Yoga offers a unique opportunity for community—where we can practice, struggle, and grow together. These shared experiences can create a bond that makes us feel supported and less alone.
Solitude and Creativity: Deanna emphasized the importance of taking time for solitude. “We come up with great ideas when we slow down.” Whether through yoga, creative pursuits, or just taking time for ourselves, these moments of quiet help us connect with our deeper selves and spark new ideas.
L3 Philosophy™ and Yoga: The principles of yoga align closely with the L3 philosophy™ of loving yourself, loving your relationships, and loving your life. Yoga teaches us that by cultivating self-love and acceptance, we can approach our relationships and life’s challenges with openness, compassion, and resilience.
As Deanna so beautifully put it, “The more we embrace change, the more we can be okay with it, knowing that it doesn’t define us or our worth.” This approach to life, rooted in yoga and mindfulness, is a powerful reminder that we are always evolving and that each moment is an opportunity to practice compassion—for ourselves and others.
Know that you are not alone in your journey. We’re all here, learning, growing, and practicing together. I believe in you, and I believe in the gifts that you have to share with the world. So, let’s say “yes” to life’s adventure together!
If you enjoyed this article and want to expand on the reflection exercises in it, You might like these guided journals!
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